Few days ago, I rushed into a nearby small camera shop to take a passport photo with red background, 5 x 5 cm, head straight, eye to the camera, no smile and all formal. Yes,  I admitted again to DV lottery 2009, to win a lottery ticket to America, which the admission will be expired on this December 5th.  Every year since 2006, I always try and hope for this but never once won. Well, maybe there is someone in other part of the world who does this every year since 1970s and never have won also. So who am I to complain? At least I have tried only 4 times…

My mom looked at the picture, it should be my recent pic in 6 months. Yes, it doesn’t look like me but it is. Mom just asked, “and then what will you do if you got it?” that was the very question that never been asked before these years.

Has America lost its famous Dream now? Now that its economic gone bad and predicted to be worse until 2012?

I, myself, now answer in hesitation, my Mom’s question and just shook my head, “well I don’t know, who knows if I will get it or not”. It’s not the same answer that was always “Berangkat!” meaning “Heck I’m going”. Well, it’s the tough situation for everybody now. Massive homework for Obama to clean up the mess that Bush had done…

I have been there, I love how free the country is, how diversely the culture is and how appreciate they are to the diversities. A country of immigrants. I can only recall, being called Chinks or China for only like 3 times in the US but I’ve been called that all my life here in Indonesia, I don’t know why, but low class and uneducated people here loves to harass women and especially Chinese women. Just by bullying you by saying it out loud, made them happy and laugh. I remember when I was little, I always hate being born as a Chinese in Indonesia. Never want to speak the language no matter my parents want us kids to. After I have lived in America, I was able to stand outside of the box and from ever since, explore Chinese culture, literature, film, philosophy and history and for once, being proud as a Chinese descendant.

My father once said, so proud to be a Chinese, “In any country where the sun rises, there is always a Chinese”. Sounds quite ambitious, like zombie wants to take over the world. Despite their massive population 1,300,000,000 people, they also selling babies and trafficking young girls and pretty boys to other demanding countries. Hm, a bit of human rights section joke here ya :P. Once me and my friend were confused how did they manage to increase they population very fast but this link has some historical answer to it… Why the Chinese are so numerous?

But when I have a new friend I met here in my swimming club, she’s a  Chinese married to a British. She hardly speaks English and I can’t speak Chinese. So it was tough luck but somehow we have our Tarzan language. It was very shameful to me, that I am Chinese Indonesian, The Chinese from China will not accept me because I can’t speak Chinese but everybody calling me Chinese in Indonesia and for some matters, you are not considered the real Indonesian. As you can not be elected as a president if you’re Chinese.

Obama as the first African American US president made me believe that in America, after all, now everything is possible. Even Indonesia has a long long long longgg way to go, president could not always be Javanese, hmm… Balinese, Ambonese, Bataknese, Sundanese or Menadonese president and then maybe who knows that someday a Chinese Indonesian will be a president?